Don't be Afraid to Burn

     Tuesday night we had just finished teaching and I was happy to find "Time" magazine sitting on the table in the living room. An American magazine! And one that would inform me what was going on in the world! I began reading, already feeling more comfortable now that I was sitting being "informed." On the second page there was a little paragraph down in the left corner about the Taliban shooting two teenage girls. It said simply that the Taliban had aimed for a 14 year old girl who had talked about what life was like under the Taliban 3 years earlier when she was 11 on some news channel-so they had been targeting her all these years. They actually missed her and shot her two friends....that was it. That's what I read. An actually pretty typical story with all the horrors that go on in our world. I've read stories like this many times. 

    But I felt this burning inside. This anger. I looked up and said, "uhhhhhhh!" My two friends on the couch were very gracious when I explained. They said it was o.k. to feel upset. I had this feeling like I needed to respond some way, but I flipped through the magazine and tried to read some other stuff. Usually when I start to feel this way after reading something like that, I pray and then move on. But I felt uncomfortable and wanted someone to pray with or just feel with. I got up and decided I needed to go pray in my room or something. I thought of praying with Jena, the staff in charge of intercession, but didn't know where she was. "I might cry," I thought as I felt that sense starting. So I went downstairs to the studio, hoping no one would be in there. Turns out Jena was in the studio. I showed her the article and as she read tears started flowing from me. I asked her to pray with me and as she took my hands and as we came before the Lord the tears started coming from deep within. I started shaking and feeling sick and there was definitely.... a lot of snot. I knew God was giving me his heart. Jena and I prayed and we brought the girls, the surviving girl, the nation of Pakistan, and the Taliban to Jesus. We prayed at the end that God's love would save-that His love would be seen as truth and that His love would bring freedom to the Taliban soldiers and the 14 year old girl. 

    It's awesome to receive God's heart....and it's hard. It didn't feel "good" to have those reactions to God's heart going around in my body, but my spirit felt connected to Christ-and that part of me did feel good. I was actually encouraged by God's love, as I just experienced a small portion of what God was feeling. Those girls are not forgotten  God knows them, they are eternal to Him and He cares about each news story out there-because He cares about each person on this planet. I felt peaceful as Jena and I ended our interceding time. Jena thanked me for being faithful to respond to what God had put on my heart. "Well, at first I didn't!" I said. I knew "two is better than one" and that having two or more agreeing in prayer is important, but I still had the thought of, "Who do I go to? What do I do with this?" It's so much easier for me in my own room, feeling the pain of God, or the joy of God and praying with just me and Him....but God has created us for partnership, for community. Jena then said to me, "Don't be afraid to burn." 

    Whoa. That hit me. I wasn't afraid to feel God's heart, I pray for that, though I understand it's a huge thing I'm asking and it's hard to handle. But I do become afraid to "burn" with God's heart, and with passion when I'm with people. It sounds ridiculous, but I actually can feel guilty when I display passion for Jesus in front of my Christian friends because they don't always have the feelings to match, or they don't know how to respond. But the thing is-that's o.k. We just need people to grasp hands together and support each other in prayer. If one is feeling led to pray for something, the other doesn't have to cry and feel passion for it-but by agreeing and supporting  in prayer we are fulfilling the Bible's command to carry one another's burdens. There are no "super Christians," there's just those who are available to God-who are ready to receive His heart. When you're open to God, He's open with you. 

    This morning in our small group my friend David said, "This morning  when I was praying I asked God for the first time how He was feeling." So good! David said we give God our feelings, but we don't think about asking Him what He's feeling. God feels all the time-He loves us, He is moved by us. Later today we had a sharing time of wounds in our lives. (We had each made a "redemptive art piece" that represented our situation.) David turned to me in the middle of it and said, "I think because I prayed this morning, 'God what are you feeling,' He is showing me, because usually I'm better with my emotions, but I'm feeling for the other people more." I replied, "You mean you're 'better' now, cuz' this is the way God wants you." He nodded-yep-that's the way God wants us.  God is compassionate, God is loving, God's heart burns. Ask Him about His heart sometime....and don't be afraid to burn. 

Day in and Day Out

Wanna' know more about the day to day of life in Norway for us YWAMers? Well here's a glimpse into my day (on a week day) ;o).....

6:00-6:15am-Roommate's alarm goes off...I pray she'll wake up and stop it

6:30-Other Roommate's alarm goes off to awaken her and myself

7:00-Breakfast (Bread and cereal provided every morning. A popular morning breakfast is the Norwegian version of Nutella, Nugati (New-got-e) and cheese...yep you read correctly-cheese and chocolate together....I try not to think about it.) 

7:30-Chores: My chore is to make tea and coffee and set it up in the boxes to take down to teaching. It's an easy job, but actually takes awhile-it's rather nice. 

8:00-Powertime (This is time for just you and Jesus. We are going through the Proverbs in Oct and writing about each one in our journal for a "book report.")

9:00-Depending on the day we have either worship and devotion, intercession, family time, or small group intercession. Today was family time, since it's a Wednesday and we carved pumpkins. 

10:00-Teaching (During a teaching week-we're in our third week of teaching this week.) We walk to the church about two blocks from the base and make ourselves comfortable for teaching. We've had the subjects of "Knowing God and making Him Known," "Kingdom Principles," and "Art and the Artist in God's perspective." 

12:00-Lunch (we also have breaks-Norwegians are big on breaks) We pack our lunches, so this is usually sandwhichs, unless you're the lucky duck who bought other food and made it the day before. 

1:45-Walk back to base and depending on the day we're either...in artist date (which means an hour with just you and your art), one on ones (staff with a student time), small groups or chores. 

4:00-Dinner time! We had pizza today, which made me a bit nostalgic. It was quite nice.

4:45-After dinner announcements we have free time usually (unless you have dinner dishes that week. blah.) This means though that you probably need to do some good ol' homework. And it's actually good stuff. We're reading a book by Lauren Cunningham which a book report is done on, and we sometimes get different assignments we're supposed to do. For instance, I just finished an art project based on a time in my life when I was wounded and didn't understand what was going on. Everyone had to make a tangible piece of art. 

(Mondays I have dance technique at 5:30, Tues we have teaching and worship at 6:30, and every other Friday I have my serving the community group)

8:00-Supper: More bread, more cereal...yeah it's nice when you have other food...

I usually go to sleep around 11:00, though going to sleep before then is rather nice. All in-between there are spontaneous happenings.....like Zumba, walks with friends to the mall, a great conversation with someone in the living room, watch funny things online together, play music in the studio, share music, dance in the kitchen  play "futbol" aka soccer, laugh, cry, let God move! 

And there you have it-a little bit more of what's happening logistically for those of you interested in that kind of stuff. 

:o) "Day by Day-Oh Dear Lord three things I pray, to see thee more clearly, love thee more dearly, follow thee more nearly day by day."

 

WORSHIP

       This Friday I was privileged to lead worship for usins' at the DTS. I had signed up to lead worship the week before and was asked on Wednesday if I could lead Friday morning. Didn't think it would come up so soon! I'm not new to leading worship, but my nerves still came up because my talent in guitar is far below many of the people here so I grow self conscious and I still get nervous when singing in front of people. I was excited though, and I thought God was saying, "yep, let's go!" So I said yes. :o) I asked a fellow student, Jonathon (From Switzerland), if he would play the djembe (drum) with my guitar. We practiced Thursday night and just during practice I felt the presence of God and was encouraged by Jonathon's heart for Jesus. I told him I'd probably stop and just have time of music or I might sing in the Spirit (sing out words that were Holy Spirit inspired). He said, "Yes, yes, that's how it should be!" Then he said, "Why don't you do this right now?" I was a bit taken aback, but I felt this was from God, so I just started singing and God gave me words to sing for Jonathon. It was so encouraging and good. 
           Friday morning Jonathon and I prayed and I told him I was a bit nervous, but I was just going to worship God. He said, "Yep! You just sing from your heart. You're fine." The night before He had said, "I have Jesus, so when I walk into a room, I bring heaven with me." His confidence in Christ and the authority he walks in was great for me to be around! We started out by prophesying over Jonathon's girlfriend who is leaving for China in two weeks. She wasn't actually there, so we filmed ourselves to send to her. It was a blessed way to start out. I started playing and singing and just being with God-leading others into His presence. I was swept away. God is so good. Sometimes we just sang with the drums, we were silent, we clapped, we were still, (I sang in the Spirit about Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego and how they weren't alone in the fire-Jesus was the forth man in the fire. Later that night some of us were at a youth service, the preaching was about...Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego...yep, how God was with them in the fire.) I sang from my lungs. When I lead worship, there's something about my desire for Jesus that just expands. I think it's because I'm wanting Him not just for me, but for the others in the room as well. And having the honor to lead others-I just am mega blessed! Calling down heaven and calling out to Jesus-pouring out my love through the songs I get to choose and the method of worship just stirs my heart. I sang so loud-ha-it's like the song lyrics, "I can't hold my love back from you!" I had asked Jonathon to at some point when I stopped playing to just continue with a drum beat. On Thursday we looked up the Tarzan Disney movie soundtrack for this drumbeat he really liked-and of course that was funny and awesome, as I love Tarzan. He let loose on the drums in worship and wow-we heard the heartbeat of God. There was so much power and freedom. I was on a high from the Holy Spirit for awhile on Friday. :o) 
     So-I'm learning to be more abandoned, more abandoned to Jesus' love. After worship Paulien, a dance track staff came up to me and told me, (paraphrased) "I really like your voice, actually I was sitting there and thinking, wow, this is another side of God, I mean, your voice is so feminine and beautiful, so it was like I experienced a new part of God." Wow. Yeah, overwhelmed there. 
       I give to God, but he is the ultimate Giver, no one can out-give Him. I give Him my worship, and He gives me His love, His Presence, His approval. He says over His children, "This one is mine. He/She is mine for all eternity." He so loves us. 
      If there's something you're afraid of, if you want to pour out your love in a way that maybe is scary-please just go for it-God is worth it. :o) 
Come close to God, and God will come close to you. Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts, for your loyalty is divided between God and the world. James 4:8
http://youtu.be/o6kSRKZ60q4

Address

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6018 Ålesund
Norway